Broken
by Sanshikura
Summary: Summary too long to fit here... so it's inside.
1. The Suffering of a Broken Doll

Broken by Sanshikura  
  
Disclaimer: I am not and will never be the owner of Saiyuki. The  
end.  
  
Summary: Sanzo had been raped by his father ever since he was  
small. In high school, he was raped by his teacher. Now, he works  
as a secretary who is constantly being raped by his boss. One day,  
he meets a brunette who changes his life.  
  
Warnings: AU, rape, foul language, yaoi, perhaps some lime/lemon in  
a few chapters, and lots of OOC-ness.  
  
Rating: R, just to be safe.  
  
Pairings: Almost everyonexSanzo, GojyoxHakkai, eventual  
HakkaixSanzo. (No 3x9, sorry.)  
  
Author's note: This idea came to me after watching Seitokai  
Shikkoubu's OVA and reading lots of angsty Weiss Kreuz fics.  
Don't ask me why, though. Reviews are always welcome. However, I  
shall not tolerate any flames this time. Please flame my other  
fics if you hate me that much. Oh, and this fic is in Sanzo's  
point of view.  
  
Chapter 01 - The Suffering of a Broken Doll  
  
Have you ever felt broken? So broken that life and death seem almost the same? That's how I feel.  
  
How do you strip a human, man or woman, of his or her self-respect? The answer is simple. The answer is what I have gone through, and is what I am experiencing now.  
  
I kept silent as my tormentor eased himself out of me, groaning slightly in the process. He pulled on his attire and smirked.  
  
"You're as satisfying as ever, Sanzo."  
  
I grunted in response and slid off his desk.  
  
"However, you seem to be rather distant lately. I do not enjoy the sight of an unresponsive toy, you know."  
  
I pulled on my clothes and stared nonchalantly at him. "Then why do you still keep this so-called *toy* of yours? Wouldn't it be easier to just dump me and get a new one? One that is still a virgin?"  
  
All I got in reply was a slight chuckle. "Ah, but you're much more fun than a virgin. Your scathing remarks never fail to turn me on."  
  
I ran a hand through my hair in a futile attempt to untangle it. "Ch'."  
  
"Well, I have a meeting in ten minutes time, so I will have to ask you to leave, Sanzo."  
  
I turned and walked towards the door of his office. As I turned the doorknob, I said, "Good evening, and have a nice day, Tsukahara-sama [1]."  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
I wanted to kill that bastard. However, I needed my job, so I can't afford to do anything rash. Damn him.  
  
I unlocked the door of my apartment and kicked off my shoes.  
  
Five...  
  
Four...  
  
Three...  
  
Two...  
  
One...  
  
"Sanzo! You're back!"  
  
A bundle of energy hurled itself at me. Golden eyes looked up, shining with adoration.  
  
"How was your day, Goku?" I asked.  
  
"It was great! Ne, Sanzo, I made my special meat buns for dinner today!" said Goku, dragging me into the kitchen.  
  
The smell of meat buns greeted me as Goku set an enormous plate of his 'special meat buns' on the table.  
  
What, you don't know who he is? Alright, I'll tell you. Goku is a kid I adopted five years ago. Don't ask me why, though. I felt like somebody was calling me, and then I went to the adoption center or whatever it was as if being pulled by some supernatural force. I couldn't remember why I had adopted him, but the look on his face when I brought him home with me was so precious that I felt glad.  
  
"Ne, aren't you gonna eat, Sanzo?" implored Goku.  
  
I picked up a meat bun and eyed it tentatively. "Did you put in anything... strange?" I asked.  
  
"No," he replied.  
  
I bestowed him with a small smile and bit into the white piece of steamed dough.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
It was midnight, but I couldn't sleep. I tossed around in bed for half an hour, willing to get some sleep, but my body just wouldn't obey. Sighing, I looked up at the ceiling and began counting sheep.  
  
One...  
  
Two...  
  
Three...  
  
...This is stupid.  
  
Groaning, I sat up and glared at the wall. All I wanted to do was to sleep. Unfortunately, Kami-sama won't let me get the rest I deeply crave for.  
  
Well, since I'm awake, you wanna hear about my past? Well, I was raised by my father. My mother died shortly after giving birth to me. When I was about ten, I was raped... by my own father. How ironic. He fucked a woman, and then the child who is his own flesh and blood [2]. You might be wondering why I can speak of it so freely. You see, I'm born to be fucked. I exist only to satisfy the desire of others. So, it's no wonder that I'm used to it.  
  
When I entered high school, I thought all those nightly (and daily) activities would stop, but I was wrong. I was raped by a teacher. I can still remember that bastard's name -Ishikawa. Ah, how he enjoyed fucking me. One day, I... er, got all worked up and kneed him in the groin so hard that he was hospitalized. I was expelled, but not before being ravaged by the principal.  
  
Anyway, I managed to get a job six years ago, when I was seventeen. That is the job I am having now, and I've been fucked by Tsukahara ever since.  
  
I yawned. I'm feeling sleepy now, so please excuse me while I obtain some deserved rest.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
"Sanzo!"  
  
I groaned and covered my head with my pillow, hoping to suffocate myself. However, it was pulled away from my grasp as bright green eyes came into my view. I groaned again. Why is she here so early in the morning?!  
  
"Ne, baldie Sanzo, time to wake up! Onii-chan's in the kitchen preparing breakfast with Goku!" chirped the annoying brat.  
  
"Go away, Lirin," I mumbled.  
  
Lirin is Goku's best friend in school, and her brother owns the apartment next to us. Since I'm such a lazy ass, Kougaiji always comes over to make breakfast for us. I only agreed because Goku might blow up the kitchen.  
  
"Sanzo~!" she screeched, hitting me with the pillow. "Wake... UP!!!"  
  
"URUSAI!!!" I yelled, sitting up and whacking her head with a paper fan.  
  
Hmm... since when did I have a paper fan in my room? Oh well, it served me nicely by shutting Lirin up.  
  
"It's not very healthy to shout so loudly in the morning, Sanzo."  
  
Oh great... Now Kougaiji's going to haul me into the kitchen whether I like it or not. I sighed and pulled on a shirt that was lying on the floor by the bed. Wait a minute... Lirin came barging in even though I was only wearing boxers?!  
  
I pinned the girl with a glare. "Have you ever heard of privacy?"  
  
Lirin looked thoughtful. "Um, yeah."  
  
"Did you know that it is *very* impolite to barge into a guy's room while he is sleeping in his *underwear*?"  
  
"But I always walk into onii-chan's room, and he doesn't mind!" she retorted.  
  
"Lirin," said Kougaiji gently. "I don't mind because you're my imouto... But Sanzo isn't your onii-chan, so of course he'll feel embarrassed if a girl sees him like that."  
  
"I do not welcome men in my room when I'm half-naked, either," I added, pulling on a pair of jeans.  
  
Kougaiji's cheeks turned pink. He dragged Lirin out of the room after mumbling a barely audible apology.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
I hate my job. If I didn't have to support Goku, I would have just quit and find another one.  
  
*ring*  
  
Ah, it's that bastard. I picked up the receiver.  
  
"Ohayo, Tsukahara-sama."  
  
"Sanzo, I need to see you now."  
  
"Aa."  
  
I slammed the receiver back to its place. Damned bastard.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
I could hear him moan as he trailed his hands down my chest. I snarled in disgust as he bent down to tease and lick my nipples. If only I could wrap my fingers around his neck, I would gladly choke him to death.  
  
"Did you say something?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, I said that you're a big frog with an oversized mouth."  
  
Tsukahara chuckled and bit me... hard. I yelped and threw my head back. That hurts like Hell!  
  
As I was recovering from the pain and surprise, Tsukahara flipped me over. I winced as my cheek hit the wooden surface of his desk. Actually, I've been through worse situations, but I can still feel pain, you know.  
  
Yuck... now I've got his fingers inside me. Oww, oww, oww... Hell, he isn't very *big*, so why does he have to stretch me like that?! He usually thrusts his way in, so why the fingers? I swear, you can even shove an elephant up my ass!  
  
I sighed. All he does is moan and groan. I'm getting kinda bored. Wait a minute... I've been fucked by him for six years already! Of course I'm bored!  
  
Tsukahara the Idiot tries to fit into a mouse hole! ...And - OUCH!  
  
"I'm being fucked by a mammoth that doesn't even have brains... Ah, how sad," I muttered, trying to ignore the pain coursing through my body.  
  
The 'Idiot' laughed. Oh, how I hate that voice.  
  
"If I were a mammoth, you'd be screaming your head off," he said.  
  
"If you were a mammoth, you'd be nicer looking," I said.  
  
The bastard ignores me and starts to move... in... and out... in... and out... in... and - Oww! Dammit, he must've lost a contract! Usually, he wouldn't be this brutal!  
  
Oh dear... I'm going to have a sore ass later...  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
To be continued...  
  
[1] I'm not sure how people call their bosses in Japan, but if anybody is  
kind enough to tell me, I'll be very grateful.  
  
[2] Um.... I'm not very fond of the word 'f**k'... .  
  
Well, that's the first chapter. Hakkai will appear in chapter two. Well, I'm off to prepare for my exam! Wish me luck! ...And don't forget to review. - Sanshikura 


	2. Amethyst Meets Emerald

Broken by Sanshikura  
  
Disclaimer: I am not and will never be the owner of Saiyuki. The  
end.  
  
Summary: Sanzo had been raped by his father ever since he was  
small. In high school, he was raped by his teacher. Now, he works  
as a secretary who is constantly being raped by his boss. One day,  
he meets a brunette who changes his life.  
  
Warnings: AU, rape, foul language, yaoi, perhaps some lime/lemon in  
a few chapters, and lots of OOC-ness.  
  
Rating: R, just to be safe.  
  
Pairings: Almost everyonexSanzo, GojyoxHakkai, eventual  
HakkaixSanzo. (No 3x9, sorry.)  
  
Author's note: Did you notice that I changed the title for the  
first chapter? Heh, I didn't like it. Reviews are always  
welcome. However, I shall not tolerate any flames this time.  
Please flame my other fics if you hate me that much.  
  
Thanks to those lovely people who reviewed!  
  
IvyRa - Well, actually Sanzo's been through more than 6 years of  
hell... Yay~! you like Sanzo and Hakkai pairings too? ^___^  
  
Rinny 1 - Sankyuu~! I've changed "-san" to "-sama"! You liked it?  
__; We love you! *glomps*  
  
Hakkai - Gojyo - Goku - Sanzo - *nodnods* We're  
glad you understand. It's interesting? Heh... I  
was feeling rather depressed when I started it...  
  
gallactica - Ah, you see... since Sanzo adopted Goku, it'll be  
like... weird. .;; Anyway, thanks for reviewing! ^__^  
  
Chapter 02 - Amethyst Meets Emerald  
  
My ass hurts. My ass *really* hurts. Damn bastard.  
  
...  
  
"Sanzo? You're back?"  
  
Okay, that's weird. Usually, Goku wouldn't greet me like that unless there's something wrong.  
  
"What happened, Goku?"  
  
The kid looked at his feet, fumbling with the hem of his shirt.  
  
"Well, Lirin and I were walking back from school today..."  
  
"...And?"  
  
"...And we came across someone."  
  
"Who?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know, but he was beaten up pretty badly. We didn't know what to do, but Lirin suggested that we bring him back with us."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"...In your room." Goku flinched. He knew how much I hated having strangers in my room.  
  
I brushed past him without a word and headed to my room. As I was about to turn the doorknob, somebody else opened it from inside.  
  
"Sanzo!" It was Lirin.  
  
I walked past her and towards the bed; I was about to glare at the person there when I saw him.  
  
An emerald eye stared back at me; the other one was hidden, and blood was covering a large portion of his face. His whole body was covered with blood, flesh, and cloth (duh). My once pristine bed sheets were now tainted crimson.  
  
Before I could speak, the person in bed opened his mouth and croaked, "They dragged me here, even when I told them not to." He smiled rather sheepishly and scratched the back of his head with a bloodstained hand.  
  
".Lirin, call the ambulance," I ordered.  
  
The man's eye widened. "No, please, don't!"  
  
"Why not?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.  
  
He looked down at his lap. "Well, I..."  
  
I sighed. "Then tell me, how are we going to tend to your wounds?"  
  
He smiled again. "You won't have to."  
  
What?  
  
He chuckled. "Don't you see? My wounds aren't bleeding anymore. I just need to rest for a few weeks."  
  
I eyed his wounds skeptically. What he said was true; his wounds seemed to be quite dry.  
  
"Well, does that mean that you'll be staying here?" I asked.  
  
"Of course he will!" said Lirin.  
  
I glared at her. "Oh, really? Why can't he stay at your place?"  
  
"Because we don't have space! Onii-chan shares his room with his girlfriend, and I'm a girl, so he can't stay with me!" she retorted, jumping up and down.  
  
"No, it's okay..." said the man.  
  
Lirin ignored him and said, "By the way, I'm Lirin. Who're you?"  
  
"I'm Hakkai."  
  
She beamed. "Nice, to meet you, Hakkai-niichan!"  
  
I was rendered speechless. In just a few minutes, Lirin had managed to turn my life upside down.  
  
Hakkai turned towards me. "...May I know your name? If I'm going to stay here, the least I can do is to know your name."  
  
"...Sanzo."  
  
The next time I'm alone with Lirin, I'm gonna strangle her. But before I do that, I need to find Goku. That kid can get scared so easily.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
"Goku?" I called, peering into his room.  
  
Goku was sitting with his back to me, facing the window.  
  
"Goku?"  
  
"...I'm sorry."  
  
What the-?  
  
He turned around and hugged me tightly.  
  
"I'm sorry...." he sobbed.  
  
"No, it's okay... I'm not mad at you," I cooed, stroking his hair [1].  
  
He looked up with red eyes. "But I didn't ask permission before bringing him back! ...And you don't like having strangers in your room!"  
  
"Shhh... It's okay..."  
  
I let Goku cry himself to sleep and tucked him into bed.  
  
Want to know why he was so upset?  
  
Goku's mother had died after giving birth to him, and his father was a drunkard. Whenever the kid did something wrong, his dad'll beat him up. Sometimes, Goku was even left in the streets to beg for food, but it was for his father. One day, his dad was killed by loan sharks. The leader wanted to kill the kid, but one of his members took pity on Goku and sent Goku to the orphanage.  
  
"Sanzo-san?"  
  
I snapped out of my thoughts. "Yeah?"  
  
Hakkai smiled. "I just wanted to ask you, where am I going to sleep?"  
  
"You're injured! Why the hell are you not in bed?!" I said. Jeez, this guy must be nuts!  
  
"Ah, I'm fine..."  
  
I glared at him. "Fine? If you're fine, ten what's that?" I asked, prodding his stomach.  
  
He winced as blood began to seep through the material of his torn shirt.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Come on," I said gruffly. "Let's get you cleaned up."  
  
I pushed Hakkai to the bathroom and motioned for him to take off his clothes.  
  
He blushed and was about to say something when I said, "I've bathed Goku many times before. Besides, you don't have anything that I don't."  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
As I scrubbed Hakkai's back, I noticed that there were a lot of old scars marring his body. Most of them seemed to be caused by nails (fingernails). To make him feel better, I wore only my boxers; my clothes needed to be washed, anyway.  
  
"Sanzo-san, are you done with my back?" asked Hakkai.  
  
"Aa," I replied. "Stay here while I get you a towel."  
  
I stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed a clean towel and a pair of my boxers. Believe me, I had no choice. It was one o'clock in the morning, and I didn't know where to find extra ones. I handed the items to the brunette and went into my room to get the first-aid kit.  
  
"Sanzo-san."  
  
I placed the kit on the bed and motioned for Hakkai to sit down. I took out some ointment and bandages, and we spent the next twenty minutes binding his wounds. There was a large gash across his stomach, and I suspect that it'll leave a scar [2].  
  
"Sanzo-san, where will I sleep tonight?" asked Hakkai.  
  
I observed his wounds, which had begun to bleed again. "...I think you'd better sleep here, with me. If there's anything wrong, you can just wake me up."  
  
Emerald eyes widened a little. "Here?"  
  
I shrugged. "It's up to you. You can even sleep outside and bleed to death, and I wouldn't know."  
  
Hakkai smiled slightly. "Thank you, Sanzo-san."  
  
Man, this guy is getting on my nerves! "Don't call me Sanzo-san!"  
  
He laughed quietly. "As you wish, Sanzo."  
  
I muttered under my breath about smiling idiots and got into bed. Hakkai blinked and sat at the edge, unsure of what to do.  
  
"Just get in before I change my mind," I said, turning over so that I lay on my stomach.  
  
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~  
  
To be continued...  
  
[1] Imagine Sanzo cooing! O_o After writing this part, I remembered a  
picture I saw long ago where Sanzo was ruffling Goku's hair...  
  
[2] Yep, that's poor Hakkai's scar; the one he got after Kanan killed  
herself.  
  
Well, what do you people think? This fic is one of my favorites, so please leave some nice reviews! Thanks! - Sanshikura 


End file.
